I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
