One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
