is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
