Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Randomize
