Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
