Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
