That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
