she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
