thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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