already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
