There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
