If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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