I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
