why didn't you poke me back
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
