Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize