Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
