how can u be prego again
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
