I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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