My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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