we're blogging at a bar
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
