I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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