jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
