so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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