I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
