I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
