No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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