What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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