At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
