ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
