she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and you said cock pushups were impossible
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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