you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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