literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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