The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
