I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
