I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
