I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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