friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize