Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your cock deserves a montage
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
