David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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