well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
