How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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