Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
