I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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