I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize