I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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