i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
