Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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