if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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