if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dear god my vagina.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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