Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
