OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i barfeds in our rink
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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