I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I could fuck to npr.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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