he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
