he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
