you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
