why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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