just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
