drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
