Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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