you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
