sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize