we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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