Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
