I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
