Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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