Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't deserve a penis
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize