I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
