How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize