Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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