And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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