her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
