If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
