Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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