he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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