it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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