ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
