Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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