she woke up with a sticky ear
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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