So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
