then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize