let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
