Christians are straight up FREAKS
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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