Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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